Short answer, one of Apple's later updates borked things especially if you format your cards in the camera like most do (including me). Canon and others, although surprisingly not Sony, reissue a new UUID to the card when reformatted. Apple's OS reads the UUID, and new=run iphotos regardless of any previous settings inside of the ImageCapture app. Unless you reformat in the computer (not my recommendation) there is only a partial kludge, i.e. it will stop iphotos from popping up but you will need to manually bring up ingest inside of PM. Open a terminal window and do the following:
defaults -currentHost write com.apple.ImageCapture disableHotPlug -bool YES
to reverse change YES to NO
Matt