Thanks for the suggestions!
With regards to it always defaulting to FTP. there are a few ways to bring up the Uploader, are you using the keyboard shortcut?
On macOS: ⌘-u will call the Uploader set to FTP, but ⌘-Ctrl-u will call the Uploader with the last uploader used.
On Windows: Ctrl-u will call the Uploader set to FTP, and Ctrl-Alt-u will call the Uploader with the last uploader used.
This is also the case in the File menu, if you choose "File > FTP Photos as..." it will call the Uploader set to FTP, if you select File > Upload, it will call the Uploader with the last uploader used.
And, you can "one-click" upload your images from the Metadata (IPTC) Info screen which you click "Save Upload and →" which will Upload the image to the last-used upload destination and the last-used settings as well and you never have to see the uploader screen or make any choices at all.
Will any of these help your uploading?
Mick
(Edited to bold the part about it opening with the last uploader used)